If You Give Deadpool a Lightsaber

If you give Deadpool a lightsaber, he’s going to ask for another lightsaber.

When you give him the second lightsaber, he’ll probably ask you for a red Sith robe.

When he’s finished dressing up, he’ll ask for the largest mirror in your house.

Then he’ll want to pose dramatically in front your largest mirror, as his robe billows behind him, to make sure he looks as badass as possible.

When he looks into the mirror, he might notice an intruder, so he’ll probably ask for his bag o’ goodies.

When he is finished giving the intruder a taste of his goodies, he’ll want a list of new marks to assassinate.

He’ll start killing (while having you drive him around the city). He might get carried away and destroy every piece of property in the tri-state area.

He may even end up killing people who were never on the contract list to begin with!

When he’s done, he’ll probably want to go back to your place and eat some chimichangas.

You’ll have to fix up a large plate of chimichangas for him with a six pack of beer and chips to go with it.

He’ll dig in, and make himself comfortable on your couch, and place his gore stained boots onto your antique mahogany coffee table.

He’ll probably ask you to put on a movie.

So, you’ll get your DVD collection, and pick out some of your favorites (Neverending Story, Princess Mononoke, The Fault in Our Stars, etc) and he’ll ask to see your Monty Python collection.

As he watches  Monty Python and the Holy Grail, he’ll get so excited that he’ll want to make a movie of his own. You’ll remind him that he already did but then he will stick a chimichanga down your throat before asking for a video camera and a black beret.

He’ll film a movie.

When the movie is finished, he’ll want to burn a copy of it onto a disc and sign it with a Sharpie. He will then save it later to auction off on ebay.

Then he’ll want to upload the movie onto Youtube.

Which means he’ll need your computer.

He’ll upload his movie and watch as the view count goes up with each refresh.

Staring at the glowing screen will remind him that he’s badass.

So, he’ll ask for a lightsaber.

And chances are if he asks for one lightsaber, he’s going to want another one to go with it.

 

 

NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

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Happy National Poetry Month!

National Poetry Month is the largest literary celebration around the world, with readers young and old marking the importance of poetry in our culture and lives. There are many ways to celebrate poetry (reading, writing, going to poetry events, carrying a favorite poem around with you, etc.) and one of my favorite resources to explore this month, Poets.org, has a list of creatives activities to do during April.

One of their suggestions is to carry a poem in your pocket or share some of your favorite poems with your friends.

Now, having read a lot of poetry books in my days as a graduate dragon, I have a large horde of poems that I call my favorites. However, limiting the list to Rosie’s to 10 Poems for 2016, seems too … limiting. I am a dragon writer, after all, and as such I would be embarrassed to show off only 10 gems when I could display 10 treasure chests.

Without much ado, I present to you, A Dragon’s Top 10 Poetry Books:

the_lorax

The Lorax taught me that you can tell a story, a sad and thoughtful story, through music. I didn’t know, as a kid, why the music came out of everyone who read the Lorax aloud to me, but the music came all the same. This was my first introduction to narrative poetry.

47

I know, I know, technically this is not a poetry book. But there are enough memorable poems here to make my list. Also, I did my undergraduate thesis on the poems held inside this treasure chest. Nonsense poetry that hides depth and meaning while teaching the reader how to read … Lewis Carroll was a genius.

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From Lewis Carroll, I found my way to Edgar Allan Poe, writer of the infamous “Raven.” Enough narrative poem. I became hooked soon after this. Poetry began as necessary to me as water.

112204

It was in High School that I came to love this poet. Something — about her — struck — me — deeply.

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I found myself craving songs with meaning in my high school life. Songs that changed history and then I found Hughes. “Dream Deferred” still rings in me like an unfinished song or a tune caught in my throat.

148317

I am cheating here because 1) Carlos Bulosan is a treasure all on his own and 2) for some reason I cannot find a full complete collection of his works on line. I can copies of his poems scattered about my files and I keep America is in the Heart by next to my Bible.

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AUDRE LORDE, ENOUGH SAID, MOVING ON!

light

“here yet be dragons”
so many languages have fallen
off of the edge of the world
into the dragon’s mouth. some

where there be monsters whose teeth
are sharp and sparkle with lost

people. lost poems. who
among us can imagine ourselves
unimagined? who

among us can speak with so fragile
tongue and remain proud?

9781613762066

FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, BUY THIS BOOK! I was so inspired by Ms. Carmen Giménez Smith that I even wrote her a Facebook fan letter.

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I already reviewed this one, but, as with all the books in this list… READ IT IF YOU LOVE POETRY, FANTASY, AND THOUGHTFUL DISCUSSIONS! … cough… roar…

I hope you enjoyed this list and the books found within. What are your favorite collection of poems? Who are your favorite poets? Please comment down below.

As always, peace, love, and pancakes!